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Rae's Latest

Filtering by Tag: Discomfort

Ouch!! I'm tearing off my Emotional Band-Aid

Rae Hering

Band-Aids are kind of “an issue” in my household. 

The other day my husband Jonathan notices to his delight that I’m sporting an adhesive bandage (newsflash: that is the real name, read all about it here.)  He breaks out into a smile and claims, as he always does, that I have an emotional attachment to Band-Aids.  My natural defense tactic is to deny, deny, deny!…but then I break down and admit that it’s kind of true.

So we get to talking about what this “emotional attachment” really is.  On the surface, it means that my average brush-with-death scrap requires a quick Band-Aid application every time.  But as we go deeper into that wound I realize it really means I’m attached to the immediate sense of resolve I get from uncomfortable feelings – and I’m talking emotional discomfort here.

Example: I get into an argument and say some nasty words that I immediately regret.  I’m feeling guilty.  Instead of my first thought being, “oh man, I hurt that person – I’m really sorry” it’s more like, “oh shit, I need to explain why I sounded like a big fat a-hole and set the record straight that I’m not usually like this.”  Gotta get rid of the guilty feelings with a quick Band-Aid, right?

Sometimes we put the Band-Aids on other people.  A friend calls you up and says she just broke up with her boyfriend.  Your first reaction is to say, “you were too good for him anyhow - you’ll find someone better!” or maybe even, “I never could understand what you saw in him…”

Some Band-Aids are applied every weekend watching TV or drinking beer to tune out the stress of family life or the thought of going back to an unfulfilling job Monday morning.

Now don’t get me wrong, comfort is a good thing; however, comfort can be misused to numb the pain rather than relieve us after the pain has been fully experienced.  You see, pain is a good thing, too.  When we put Band-Aids on uncomfortable feelings, we rob ourselves of the full experience of life.

So with that, Happy Discomfort everybody!